Parody of a KxI Fanfic
by Rizu Neko-Chan
Summary: Kisshu reveals that he loves Ichigo so much that he'd buy her a colossal burrito, and Ichigo discovers that Kisshu's love is deeper than anything in the entire flippin universe. Period. --Inspired by the author Field of Paper Flowers-


(A.N./ Alright, time for something crack-ish. This was inspired by Field of Paper Flower's fic, "Parody of a PaixLettuce Fanfic". I just HAD to do a KxI one after she did hers. Now, I know this is kinda making fun of my most loved pairing, but there is honestly too many fics like this to count. So, if your fic sounds similar to this one, **I'M NOT TRYING TO INSULT YOU**. This is** in no way trying to mock one author or one story in particular**! Nor am I trying to deliberately annoy KxI shippers. Now that I've said that, enjoy the crack-ness!)

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Ichigo was humming and skipping her way on the trail to the park. The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and the world seemed happy. Masaya had asked Ichigo on a date with him! Actually, he had told her to meet him at the park. He didn't sound his usual either. Ichigo frowned. What possibly was wrong? Suddenly, the birds stopped to chirp as Ichigo's depression grew deeper.

Meanwhile, Kisshu was sitting in some random tree in the park. Why he was sitting in the tree, I don't know. He just conveniently was there. He picked his teeth and sat there, being bored. While his mind was idle, his thoughts began to drift off to Ichigo. He loved Ichigo. He loved Ichigo to the depths of the sea, to the farthest reaches of space. He loved her so much that he would die for her (hint, hint). He loved her so much that the world would blow up if Ichigo wasn't in it. He loved her so much that he would buy her a burrito so big that it would reach all the way up to the moon. He loved her so much that he would bake cookies for her. But not just any cookies. He loved Ichigo so much that he would bake her chocolate chip cookies. A stupid-looking, uncharacteristic smile stretched across Kisshu's face as he thought about eating chocolate chip cookies with Ichigo.

Meanwhile, Masaya (conveniently) took a seat on the bench below the tree Kisshu was sitting in. Kisshu saw Masaya. His blood boiled. He hated Masaya for taking Ichigo away from him. He wanted to pound his guts out. But, alas, he couldn't! Even though he had beaten the crap out of Masaya before, he had since had a revolution that he should beat Masaya no more, all for Ichigo's sake! Kisshu placed a hand over his heart and looked dramatic, sprawling all over the tree branch in an artistic way. A ray of sun conveniently shined down on him from heaven. Somewhere, a dog barked.

Meanwhile, Ichigo had just arrived at the bench Masaya was at.

"Hi, Aoyama-kun!" she greeted. Masaya smiled.

"Good evening, Momomiya-san," he replied. "I have something I need to tell you."

"What is it?" Ichigo asked enthusiastically. Masaya's face fell.

"It's about our relationship." Ichigo frowned.

"Aoyama-kun?"

"Ichigo, I'm in love with your friend Moe," Masaya said. "I don't love you anymore."

Tears welled up in Ichigo's eyes as she screamed, "I HATE YOU, MASAYA!" and took off in the opposite direction. Conveniently, it began to rain.

Meanwhile, Kisshu (who had just witnessed the breakup), was mad. He was more than mad. He was so mad that he wanted to kill something. Particularly Masaya. So he took out his sword, swooped down, and carved the guts out of Masaya. Once that was done, Kisshu left the body to wash away in the rain (which had grown to be more of a monsoon) and took off to find Ichigo in a very heroic manner.

Meanwhile, Ichigo was sitting under a tree, crying her eyes out. She was so sad and hated Masaya so much. Her heart was in pieces and she was left feeling sad and lonely and abandoned. Masaya, she decided, was an idiot, and she never really loved him anyway.

Suddenly, Kisshu appeared in front of her. He immediately ducked down and began kissing her tears away (though it was almost impossible to distinguish them from the raindrops). Ichigo threw herself into the arms of Kisshu, sobbing.

"Oh, Kisshu!" she wailed. "Hold me!"

"Ichigo," Kisshu murmured in a husky, sexy voice, "I'm so sorry." Ichigo buried herself into his rock-hard chest and cried some more. Kisshu petted her hair and kissed her head. Conveniently, her cat ears and tail came out. Ichigo looked up and sniffed her nose. She stared into Kisshu's golden melty topaz liquid butterscotch eyes that drowned her in mustard. Er, I mean, love. Yeah, love.

Meanwhile, Kisshu was staring into Ichigo's chocolate hazel cocoa warm coffee eyes that drowned him in espresso-- I mean, love. Then he bent down and kissed her. The kiss was like heaven. Kisshu had his tongue all over Ichigo's mouth and Ichigo had her hand all in Kisshu's hair and they were practically eating each other's faces as they **DROWNED THEMSELVES IN THE DEEPEST LOVE THAT HEAVEN NEVER KNEW AND IT WAS DEEPER THAN ANYTHING IN THE ENTIRE FLIPPIN UNIVERSE!!!1!!1**

Once they were finished slobbering all over each other, Ichigo looked at Kisshu. Kisshu looked at Ichigo.

"I love you, Kisshu," Ichigo said.

"I love you, Ichigo," Kisshu said. "But there's something you must know. I'm…a vampire." Ichigo gasped.

"Oh, Kisshu, I love you anyway! I don't care what you are!"

Then they made out. Again.

So after all of this happened, Ichigo and Kisshu decided to get married on Earth. Because an alien was marrying a human, everyone decided that they would live in peace and search for the Mew Aqua together! So they did. They found enough Mew Aqua to restore Kisshu's planet. Pai got together with Lettuce. Taruto got together with Pudding. Minto got together with Ryou. Zakuro got together with Keiichiro. Masaya got to together with no one because he was dead.

Ichigo and Kisshu lived happily ever after at a beach house on Kisshu's planet. They had five cat-eared, alien vampire daughters, which became the next Mew Mews.

THE END!!!!11!!!1

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End file.
